Q: What do biologists do when they visit France?
A: They go parasite seeing (haha!) Get it...Paris sightseeing :)
This question is popularly used in punchline algebra books that can be solved by translating English phrases into algebraic expressions and setting up equations.
Biologists can be comedians too. Check a list of jokes that only biologists will get at Business Insider.
In the news, Richard Whitten, a U.S. biologist has donated 4,000 insects he collected over 62 years to Costa Rica. Read more at Fox News Latino.
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What do biologists do when they visit france? #biologists #parasite #riddle #france
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What happened when the crossword puzzle champion died #joke
Q: What happened when the crossword puzzle champion died?
A: They buried him six down and eight across.
Of interest, Dan Feyer is currently the champion of The American Crossword Puzzle Tournament, the largest and oldest U.S. crossword-solving tournament held annually in late February or early March. Watch Dan show his skills in the video below.
The crossword puzzle had just celebrated its 100th birthday! Discover the roots of a hobby that wasn't expected to last at The Washington Post.
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Where does a cow go after elementary school? #fifthgrade #nextlevel #elementaryschool #middleschool
Q: Where does a cow go after elementary school? A: Moodle school (haha!)
Typically, junior high (also called middle school) is for those aged 11-14 and senior high is for students aged 15-18.
Want more critter humor? Get amused with loads of animal jokes at Funology.
Just in! A cow might have been better off in "moodle" school after Girls actress Lena Dunham tried to milk it in the middle of Manhattan! Check it out at Mail Online.
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What did dr. Freud say to the guy who thought he was Mickey mouse one day and Donald duck the next?
If Dr. Freud was in a humorous mood he might have told the man that thought he was Mickey Mouse one day and Donald Duck the next:
"It seems quite clear to me that you are suffering from Disney spells... but at least you're not Goofy!"
This is both a play on words, and a little play with character names.
Disney Studios are the owners of both the Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck characters, and Disney might sound a little bit like Dizzy; instead of saying "dizzy spells", the doctor suggests it's "Disney spells"; Goofy is yet a third Disney character, you may know.
Here's a tip for folks that enjoy puns (word play), check out Distractify.com's 31 Worst Puns Ever, but I can't stop laughing!.
Sometimes puns even get slipped into serious business; and in punny merger news a recent report on a potential Chiquita Brands International merger with Irish fruit grower Fyffes revealed these beauties:
Referring to the new potential company as "Top Banana" the deal “failed to split the banana equally” and even a footnote that held “Orange you glad we didn’t say ‘banana?’”
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What happened when the crossword puzzle champion died #joke
Q: What happened when the crossword puzzle champion died?
A: They buried him six down and eight across.
Of interest, Dan Feyer is currently the champion of The American Crossword Puzzle Tournament, the largest and oldest U.S. crossword-solving tournament held annually in late February or early March. Watch Dan show his skills in the video below.
The crossword puzzle had just celebrated its 100th birthday! Discover the roots of a hobby that wasn't expected to last at The Washington Post.
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What do you call a female bug that floats? #riddles
You would call it a buoyant girl ant! That is quite clever! Do you have any more riddles for us?
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Why is it bad to say "code 3 in the warehouse" to a walmart employee? #warehouse #walmart
Walmart does not have a code number 3, but code 300 means security is needed at the location.
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Why did the backpacker carry a flashlight? and why didnt the piano work?
Question: Why did the backpacker carry a flashlight? Answer: He wanted to lighten his load.
Question: Why didn't the piano work? Because it only knew how to play.
Here are a few more jokes with a clever play on words:
Question: Why did the baker work overtime? Answer: Because he kneaded the dough.
Question: Why did the burglar break into a music shop? Answer: He wanted to get his hands on the lute.
Question: Why did the bat miss the bus? Answer: Because he hung around for too long.
Believe it or not, laughter is good for you. Just 10 to 15 minutes of it raises your heart rate between 10% and 20% helping burn an extra 10 to 40 calories a day. That's a four-pound weight loss over a year!
Speaking of jokes, a re-lease of Anchorman 2 plans to have audiences in stitches with its 763 new ones. Visit USA Today for more details.
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Whats difference between a watch and a priest #watch #priest #hands
Possible answers for the difference between a watch and a priest are: A watch stops at 12! or A watch has 3 hands!
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What is the answer to the math worksheet joke: what do you call it when the nurse gives you a shot you hardly feel?
Q: What do you call it when the nurse gives you a shot you hardly feel?
A: A number! (Get it? Numb-er!)
For free Math Worksheets, you can generate printable sheets for a multitude of topics here.
Treat yourself with these "20 Spectacularly Nerdy Math Jokes" featured at Buzzfeed.com.
In math news, discover how a writer used math to find love online at The Washington Post.
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What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind? Objective 5. ALGEBRA WITH PIZZAZ
Question: What do they call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from the back? Answer: A tailgator. Get it..."tailgater".
You can also check the answer using simplified algebraic expressions here.
Algebra is not high on the list of most people's favorite things to do, so creative teachers use pizzazz to make this subject fun. They make puzzles that are designed so that students will construct a joke or unscramble the answer to a riddle in the process of checking their answers.
New Blog 3: Algebra With Pizzazz via kwout
Of interest, the new math app from BinaryLabs, Dexteria Dots, has been named the Best New App in Education by Apple, and is being featured on the App Store. Find out more here.
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Why did the donkey get a passport #talkingbird #spellingbee #donkey
One of the reasons could be he wanted to be a travel burro haha!
Of interest, donkeys in the UK and Europe actually have a "passport" to ensure that they will not enter the food chain, according to the Donkey Sanctuary! The forms require a silhouette drawing of the animal with a written description emphasizing distinctive markings.
In donkey news, Simon Cowell of Britain's Got Talent has been blasted for criticizing Patty the Painting Donkey during a recent appearance on the show.
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What do you call a female bug that floats? #riddles
You would call it a buoyant girl ant! That is quite clever! Do you have any more riddles for us?
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Why did the backpacker carry a flashlight? and why didnt the piano work?
Question: Why did the backpacker carry a flashlight? Answer: He wanted to lighten his load.
Question: Why didn't the piano work? Because it only knew how to play.
Here are a few more jokes with a clever play on words:
Question: Why did the baker work overtime? Answer: Because he kneaded the dough.
Question: Why did the burglar break into a music shop? Answer: He wanted to get his hands on the lute.
Question: Why did the bat miss the bus? Answer: Because he hung around for too long.
Believe it or not, laughter is good for you. Just 10 to 15 minutes of it raises your heart rate between 10% and 20% helping burn an extra 10 to 40 calories a day. That's a four-pound weight loss over a year!
Speaking of jokes, a re-lease of Anchorman 2 plans to have audiences in stitches with its 763 new ones. Visit USA Today for more details.
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What do biologists do when they visit france? #biologists #parasite #riddle #france
Q: What do biologists do when they visit France?
A: They go parasite seeing (haha!) Get it...Paris sightseeing :)
This question is popularly used in punchline algebra books that can be solved by translating English phrases into algebraic expressions and setting up equations.
Biologists can be comedians too. Check a list of jokes that only biologists will get at Business Insider.
In the news, Richard Whitten, a U.S. biologist has donated 4,000 insects he collected over 62 years to Costa Rica. Read more at Fox News Latino.
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Why don't they allow scissors in the school cafeteria? riddle #riddle #scissor #cafeteria
Riddle: Why don't they allow scissors in the school cafeteria?
Answer: So they don't cut in the line!
Try this one, "the person who makes it has no need for it, the person who purchases it does not use it, the person
who does use it does not know he or she is. What is it?" Find out the answer here.
Check out more riddles here:
http://www.rinkworks.com/brainfood/p/riddles1.shtml
http://www.funology.com/riddles/
http://thinks.com/riddles/a1-riddles.htm
http://www.riddles.com/
Of interest, a titanic duel to the death on the banks of a primordial river might have solved one of the greatest
riddles of the dinosaur age. Scientists believe that two monstrous creatures, one a top predator and the other a massive three-horned plant eater, killed each other in a savage battle before being frozen in time. Catch more at Sky News.
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What did the policeman tell the burglar in the bathroom? #policeman #riddles #trousers #jokes
Q: What did the policeman tell the burglar in the bathroom?
A: Come out with your pants up! (Come out with your hands up!)
Want more? Get amused with loads of police jokes and more, ranging in topics from scary criminals to drunks at Aha Jokes - Police Jokes.
In joke buzz, a sandwich shop owner endured eight hours of questioning by police and had his computer seized for three weeks – after making tasteless Nelson Mandela jokes on the internet. Read more at the Daily Mail.
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What were the headlines after a 3 foot 10 inch fortunteller escaped from jail? #headline #headlines
A short fortune teller escapes from prison. The headline reads: "Small Medium at Large." That's funny!
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what happened to the little boy who swallowed a silver dollar?
Q: What happened to the little boy who swallowed a silver dollar?
This is a riddle used in math worksheets answered by solving math equations. But here are several answers provided:
The little boy who swallowed the half dollar was worth 50 more cents.
He went to the doctor who said there is "no change yet"
The boy turned into a penny.
Take a look at a real case where a boy swallowed a silver dollar at The New York Times.
In the news, a Palisades Park family sues the Bronx Zoo after their child swallows a souvenir penny. Read more at NJ.com.
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How did dregg do on his antarctica test
Dregg did wonderfully on his Antarctic test because ... he knew it cold!
This riddle is a play on words; when someone is fully prepared for every answer on a test, they can be said to "know it cold." At the same time the Antarctic is known for being, in fact, very cold. So in this joke Dregg knew all the answers about the cold climate of the antarctic.
Here's a tip for those that love puns (word play), check out PunOfTheDay.com.
In punny news of the day, the New York based band Heydaze is reportedly uniting pop music with puns, according to Old Gold & Black.
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