Because they're going to have a "little one" (little 1)! Congratulations!
Try this:
Why did Mr. and Mrs. Arithmetic go to a counselor?
What did Mr. Squirrel send his ex-girlfriend after they broke up?
Why didn't the shark have to pay cash at the counter?
Find out the answers here.
Check out more riddles here:
* http://www.rinkworks.com/brainfood/p/riddles1.shtml
* http://www.funology.com/riddles/
* http://thinks.com/riddles/a1-riddles.htm
* http://www.riddles.com/
Just In! Scientists are unlocking the riddle behind a planet orbiting two stars. A team of researchers may have found the solution to the problem, using a set of complex computer models. Check out more at Forbes.
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Riddle why are mr and mrs numbers so happy #mrs
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What's green and falls up? #seaweed #phlegm #planetearth #riddle #gravity #trees #sun #earth
There may be several answers to this riddle, but the one that seems to work best is seaweed.
Seaweed is green and can be seen as falling up, because when it falls off the plant it's attached to, it rises to the surface.
Another answer is Earth, because people tend to refer to nature as green, and the gravity of planet Earth also pushes up to meet people, buildings, trees, etc. The gravity of our bodies and other objects above ground, as well as the gravity of the Sun, pulls Earth upwards to some extent.
Cruder answers are "vomit" and "phlegm".
Some suggest that this is just a joke question. One keeps repeating the question until their victim gives up and asks "What?" to which you reply "I don't know, that's why I'm asking you!"
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What are the five funniest jokes in the world? #killerbee #worldsfunniestjoke #goldfish #zombie
Of course jokes can be subjective, what one person finds hysterical, the next may find dumb, but we scoured our sources for jokes and we found what we think are the top 5, including the joke, voted by popular demand over the Internet as the best in the world, in the number 1 spot
5) Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave," the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, draw out the poison with your mouth and spit it on the ground." The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says you’re gonna die."
4) It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty.""This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married.""Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “they're all at the funeral."
3) A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy took a lick of his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
2) A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak in the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him.""Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
1) Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "and what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."
Check out this Reddit thread with tons of other great jokes.
In "Just when you thought you've heard it all" news, with an unusual self-deprecating joke, Kim Jong Un, leader of North Korea, shows his vulnerable side, courtesy of The Washington Post.
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Why don't they allow scissors in the school cafeteria? riddle #riddle #scissor #cafeteria
Riddle: Why don't they allow scissors in the school cafeteria?
Answer: So they don't cut in the line!
Try this one, "the person who makes it has no need for it, the person who purchases it does not use it, the person
who does use it does not know he or she is. What is it?" Find out the answer here.
Check out more riddles here:
http://www.rinkworks.com/brainfood/p/riddles1.shtml
http://www.funology.com/riddles/
http://thinks.com/riddles/a1-riddles.htm
http://www.riddles.com/
Of interest, a titanic duel to the death on the banks of a primordial river might have solved one of the greatest
riddles of the dinosaur age. Scientists believe that two monstrous creatures, one a top predator and the other a massive three-horned plant eater, killed each other in a savage battle before being frozen in time. Catch more at Sky News.
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Is it true in 1843 a street mime got stuck in his imaginary box and died of starvation #starvation
There is indeed a rumor that in 1843 a street mime in Paris got stuck in his imaginary box and died of starvation, but there is no actual evidence to prove that this is anything more than a myth.
Mime is one of the oldest forms of self expression, it's a method of communication that does not require any language, or at the very least, a common language between two or more people.
Mime is believed to have begun in ancient Greece, in the Theater of Dionysus in Athens where actors in masks performed in front of 10,000 or more people to honor the god of theater: Dionysus.
In mid August the San Francisco Mime Troupe performed its brand of satirical social theater in Santa Cruz at the San Lorenzo Park; they put on a free show called "For the Greater Good," about the perils of unchecked capitalism.
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what is the answer to this math joke question why should wou look out for a pig that knows karate
Why should you look out for a pig that knows karate? A: It might give you a pork chop! Math teachers like to sprinkle jokes like this on their worksheets.
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What is the answer to the math worksheet joke: what do you call it when the nurse gives you a shot you hardly feel?
Q: What do you call it when the nurse gives you a shot you hardly feel?
A: A number! (Get it? Numb-er!)
For free Math Worksheets, you can generate printable sheets for a multitude of topics here.
Treat yourself with these "20 Spectacularly Nerdy Math Jokes" featured at Buzzfeed.com.
In math news, discover how a writer used math to find love online at The Washington Post.
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Where does a cow go after elementary school? #fifthgrade #nextlevel #elementaryschool #middleschool
Q: Where does a cow go after elementary school? A: Moodle school (haha!)
Typically, junior high (also called middle school) is for those aged 11-14 and senior high is for students aged 15-18.
Want more critter humor? Get amused with loads of animal jokes at Funology.
Just in! A cow might have been better off in "moodle" school after Girls actress Lena Dunham tried to milk it in the middle of Manhattan! Check it out at Mail Online.
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What happened when the crossword puzzle champion died #joke
Q: What happened when the crossword puzzle champion died?
A: They buried him six down and eight across.
Of interest, Dan Feyer is currently the champion of The American Crossword Puzzle Tournament, the largest and oldest U.S. crossword-solving tournament held annually in late February or early March. Watch Dan show his skills in the video below.
The crossword puzzle had just celebrated its 100th birthday! Discover the roots of a hobby that wasn't expected to last at The Washington Post.
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What did dr. Freud say to the guy who thought he was Mickey mouse one day and Donald duck the next?
Freud said "you are having Disney spell," or "you're going Goofy," depending on who you ask.
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Why do the call Teyana Taylor jimmy neutch
Actually, info is unpublished. According to her, if someone asks why do they call her Jimmy Neutch, she just say, "mind your own business!". Oh well.
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what were the headlines after a 3 foot 10 inch fortuneteller escaped from jail #headline #headlines
The headline was "Small Medium at Large!" Try this: My dog has no nose. Then how does he smell? Awful!
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What are the top 10 funniest jokes #jokes
Here's the top 10 funniest jokes of all time:
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.""I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shih tzu.""Dyslexic man walks into a b-r-a"
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
A classic Tommy Cooper gag "I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays", was fifth.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.
Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.
Another one was: Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."
See more jokes here.
Speaking of jokes, EA has officially apologized for what it has judged to be a couple of mean-spirited April Fools' jokes at Nintendo's expense, tweeted out by its proprietary video game engine Frostbite.
Our apologies to partners @NintendoAmerica & fan @FrostbiteEngine ’s poor attempt at April Fools not condoned by EA : unacceptable/ stupid— Peter Moore (@petermooreEA) April 1, 2014
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What did bonzo say when he saw the ivy-covered walls of the ivy league collage? #bonzo #ivy
What did bonzo say when he saw the ivy covered walls of the ivy league college? He said "ICIV (I see ivy)."
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Why do cowboys have so much trouble with math? Do u know this answer its on my work? #cattle #riddle
The answer to the riddle is "because they always round things up"! Get it? Round up cattle? Ha!
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What are the top 10 funniest jokes #jokes
Here's the top 10 funniest jokes of all time:
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.""I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shih tzu.""Dyslexic man walks into a b-r-a"
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
A classic Tommy Cooper gag "I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays", was fifth.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.
Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.
Another one was: Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."
See more jokes here.
Speaking of jokes, EA has officially apologized for what it has judged to be a couple of mean-spirited April Fools' jokes at Nintendo's expense, tweeted out by its proprietary video game engine Frostbite.
Our apologies to partners @NintendoAmerica & fan @FrostbiteEngine ’s poor attempt at April Fools not condoned by EA : unacceptable/ stupid— Peter Moore (@petermooreEA) April 1, 2014
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What do biologists do when they visit france? #biologists #parasite #riddle #france
Q: What do biologists do when they visit France?
A: They go parasite seeing (haha!) Get it...Paris sightseeing :)
This question is popularly used in punchline algebra books that can be solved by translating English phrases into algebraic expressions and setting up equations.
Biologists can be comedians too. Check a list of jokes that only biologists will get at Business Insider.
In the news, Richard Whitten, a U.S. biologist has donated 4,000 insects he collected over 62 years to Costa Rica. Read more at Fox News Latino.
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What did the baby buzzard say when it saw an orange in the nest? #baby #buzzard #nest
Question: What did the baby buzzard say when it saw an orange in the nest?
Answer: "Look at the orange mama laid!" (Referring to "orange marmalade")
Try some of these math riddles:
You have 7 tennis b@lls that are all identical but one of them is slightly lighter than the others. Using a balance scale and only two separate weightings, how can you find the light tennis ball?
Two boys, Trevor and Tyler, are running a 100 meter race. The first time they race Trevor beats Tyler by 5 meters. To make things fair, the next time they race Trevor stands 5 meters behind the starting line. Who wins the second race (assuming they run the same speed as the first race)?
There are five hen and rooster pairs. Each pair has one baby every month. How many chickens will there be in one year?
There are 100 passengers boarding a 100 passenger airplane. When passenger 1 gets onto the plane, he is disoriented, so he randomly picks a seat. Each of the remaining passengers (2, 3, 4, etc.) get onto the plane and take their seat if it is available or picks one of the remaining seats at random if it is not. What is the chance that the last passenger (passenger 100) will get his seat?
You can view the answers at Good Riddles Now.
The single most important thing to remember when attempting to solve hard riddles is that they are meant to trick you. Learn to answer hard and tricky riddles at Howtodothings.com.
Of interest, according to a new report published by the Boston-based research group Pioneer Institute, the Common Core math standards will not prepare U.S. students for advanced math classes that, consequently, will see lower enrollments. This situation, the report’s authors say, will ultimately lead to a dumbing down of college STEM curricula. Read more here.
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Wat are the top 3 funniest jokes ever #jokes
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.""I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a sh*tzu."
''Dyslexic man walks into a b-r-a''
Check out the Top 50 Jokes of All Time here.
Can robots tell jokes? Researchers behind the KOBIAN Emotional Humanoid robot say they're writing a joke-how-to for robotic comedians. Check out a video showing a robot making humans laugh at Engadget.com.
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what were the headlines after a 3 foot 10 inch fortuneteller escaped from jail #headline #headlines
The headline was "Small Medium at Large!" Try this: My dog has no nose. Then how does he smell? Awful!
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